


Waiting For You

by ValkyrieShepard



Series: Starker Collection [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Anal Sex, Angst, Breakup, Explicit Sex, First Time, Fluff, Guilt, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rimming, Smut, Underage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:20:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieShepard/pseuds/ValkyrieShepard
Summary: Tony Stark's relationship with Pepper had been tense for a while. It was her who realised Tony's feelings for Peter Parker. Leaving the tower and their relationship behind, Tony finds solace in someone else's arms.





	1. Seventeen

**Author's Note:**

> Before Homecoming I got pretty tired of the MCU. So picture the universe as it once was in fandom, the Avengers live in Stark Tower, doing their own thing as well as teaming up when the world needs them to. Then Spider-Man came along. 
> 
> Ideas come from an RP with a friend <3 
> 
> As always, hate comments will be deleted without response.

“Mr… Mr. Stark?”

 

A soft, shy voice woke Tony from his slumber and he lurched into an upright position, confused for a while. Standing by his side was Peter, in one of his self made Spider-Man outfits, the one that looked more like a vest with sleeves than a proper superhero. Then again, it fit him, and was a little less conspicuous. Perfect when he just wanted to swing by Avengers tower real quick - something Peter tended to do quite often these days.

 

“What are you doing here?,” he asked as he tried to figure out when and where he was. The windows were dimmed and no light came in, and as he finally found a clock that popped up somewhere - Jarvis knew this confused look by now - it was evidently just past midnight.

 

“Well, I just, hang on-” Peter turned around to fumble with his backpack, and Tony glanced at the mask that was hanging precariously from his back pocket. So he wouldn’t lose it, Tony grabbed it and put it on the table, making Peter turn and blush for some reason. Then he want back to rummage, brought a plastic box from his backpack and a few other things.

 

“I figured you would still be up, I mean, you always are. Do you even get sleep, like, regularly?,” Peter babbled and Tony watched a cupcake emerge from the plastic box.

 

Then a small, pink candle, pinned into it, Peter lit it, pulled out another box that was wrapped in shiny pink wrapping paper, and he handed both to him with a triumphant and somewhat nervous look in his eyes.

 

“Happy birthday, Mr. Stark,” he said.

 

“Oh boy, that’s a thing that happened today…,” he sighed, and watched Peter’s face fall, the smile gone.

 

“Sorry the wrapping paper’s pink, Aunt May didn’t have anything else,” he said quickly.

 

“Oh no that’s not…,” Tony forced himself to smile, something that he did surprisingly easy when he looked at Peter. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he turned to the cupcake. “This is actually really sweet.”

 

Peter returned his smile again and watched him blow out the candle, then tensed up a little when Tony reached for the present. He had absolutely no idea what Peter could have possibly gotten for him, a man who arguably had everything.

 

But it also made him curious and under Peter’s nervous gaze he ripped the pink paper apart, noticing only now that it had small, happy bears on it as well. He uncovered another box that revealed a few things inside. There was a picture of himself, looking out on the city during sunset, a really nice picture of himself, he had to admit. When Peter had possibly taken it, he couldn’t tell. The other thing inside the box was… a rock. He tilted his head as he inspected it.

 

“Concrete?”

 

“It’s a er… piece of the building that collapsed on me, a few years ago,” Peter said, and Tony sat up straighter. This was the first time he had heard of that. “I… was really scared that time. I was calling for you, hoping you’d save me again but I realised it wasn’t going to happen. I saved myself and then I… I realised how much I still had to learn it was just, well. It’s just a rock but it was also a revelation for me, kinda, and you, that you were right and that you were trying to protect me so I just wanted to say thank you.”

 

“Wow that’s… that’s a very articulate rock,” he replied, and Peter chuckled.

 

“It’s kind of dumb, sorry,” Peter awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “But er that’s why I got you something else.”

 

Tony carefully put the rock on the table, and underneath a layer of foam a pair of tasteful cufflinks were revealed. They didn’t look particularly expensive, and were relatively simple in style but Tony liked them. A lot, actually. That the kid had managed to pick something like this out surprised him. He looked up into his expectant face and gave him a smile, so he could let out a relieved sigh.

 

“These are really nice, thank you.”

 

“Oh thank god,” Peter blurted out, then coughed a little awkwardly. “I er… I’m glad.”

 

“For… the rock too,” Tony said quietly, putting it carefully back into the box, closing it up so he could find a place for it later. Maybe a little glass case so it wouldn’t break. He picked up the photo again. “When did you take this?”

 

“Oh er, just a while ago. I just thought it came out really neat, I don’t know maybe Pepper wants to have it.”

 

Tony felt guilty whenever Peter mentioned her, and he wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe because when the two of them were together he tended to… forget about her. After Peter had made the very mature decision not to join the Avengers, Tony had set up an actual Stark internship for him. Which mainly meant he could go to the tower and work on whatever he wanted in peace. Together they had worked on better web fluid, different uses for it, and he had thoroughly explained every function of the suit he had made for him a few years ago.

 

Peter didn’t always use it. He seemed to have taken Tony’s words really to heart: If you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it. He didn’t think anyone would ever remember anything that he had said. But the kid idolised him, he was very aware of that. And perhaps of a slight crush too, otherwise nothing would explain all that blushing going on sometimes. Tony tended… not to think about that. At all. Because his mind went into dangerous directions when he did.

 

He had rationalised it to himself. Sure, the kid was handsome, maybe even beautiful and had a fantastic ass, but those were just superficial things that he definitely wasn’t thinking about because he was almost 18 and even then that would be far too young, even for him. Thing was that he had rarely had someone to work with this way. Peter was thinking unconventionally, and he could even understand Tony’s way of thinking to the point where he sometimes finished his sentences. There was still so much for him to learn and Peter was eager to learn it. From him.

 

Tony had never had this kind of attention before.

 

And now he was here being absolutely sweet. At midnight.

 

“Isn’t it a school night?,” Tony asked, motioning for Jarvis to unblock the windows to show the New York skyline. Yep, still dark.

 

“Oh come on, I stay out longer than this when I go out as Spider-Man,” Peter said, already looking through what was on Tony’s workbench.

 

“Officially, I didn’t hear that. Oh, by the way, did you send out your application for MIT?”

 

“Uhm, yeah,” Peter said softly, not meeting his eyes. “Haven’t heard back yet.”

 

“Oh come on, I doubt you have anything to worry about. They’ll want you.”

 

“I’m not even sure that’s what I’m worried about,” Peter said, finally sitting down by his side. He grabbed a piece of circuitry and started playing with it in one hand.

 

“Then what are you worried about?” In his mind Tony was a little confused. Was he giving advice now, was that what he was doing? Like an adult? Ugh.

 

“I don’t really want to leave New York, I think.”

 

“It’s not that far, kid, you can come back sometimes during the weekends.”

 

“I just…,” Peter sighed. “I’ll miss this.”

 

He looked around the workshop, his gaze lingering on Tony for a while. Then lower, at himself.

 

“And this.”

 

“You know, Spider-Man could move to Boston for a while, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”

 

“I guess,” Peter said with almost a smile.

 

“I promise I’ll keep New York safe.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

They looked at each other, Tony waited for him to keep talking, because it was obvious that there was more for him to say. If he was honest with himself, he would miss him too. MIT wasn’t too far away, not with his available means, but wouldn’t it be weird if he went there to hang out with a kid? Or brought him back here to do the same? Besides, Peter would have a lot of other priorities. School, perhaps even a party or two, a girlfriend or boyfriend… A lot of things were ahead of Peter that didn’t involve him, and that- that was a good thing, he reminded himself. Better to be away from him and those thoughts that sometimes crept into his mind.

 

“Tony?,” a familiar voice called out to him, and Tony’s heart lurched.

 

“Hide,” he hissed to Peter, knowing that there would be hell to pay if he was caught keeping him up past midnight. It wouldn’t matter that it had been Peter’s idea.

 

“What- why?” Peter got up anyway, grabbed his backpack and when Tony turned he was suddenly gone.

 

Looking around frantically, unable to locate him, he hurried to push the wrapping paper down from the table and hid the box somewhere in between the mess around him. Hopefully, Pepper wouldn’t notice. Maybe she would be too busy congratulating him. Or being mad at him. Currently, he expected either.

 

Pepper looked tired when she entered the workshop, looking around it with little interest and a little contempt. Perhaps Tony had spent a bit too much time here lately… It wasn’t the first time he had heard it, but it was his sanctuary. More so now that he had a certain company. He pushed that thought away. Again.

 

“I had hoped you’d be in our bed for your birthday,” Pepper said, yawning. Somehow he doubted she had anything special planned. “But you’re down here. Again.”

 

She didn’t look particularly mad, just… sad? Disappointed? Something felt very heavy about this. Tony was really not ready for this.

 

“Lost track of time. Sorry.”

 

Pepper sighed, let her head drop, pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes. She was shaking her head and this… this was really not good. Tony knew what mad Pepper looked like, this was not it.

 

“If I had… a nickel every time I heard this, I’d be as rich as you by now. Almost.”

 

“I…,” he didn’t really know what else to say. “Let me just finish up, I’ll be right back.”

 

“I hate this place,” Pepper said quietly, and Tony stopped his movements. His hand was hovering a little over Peter’s box, then he pulled it away again.

 

“What?”

 

“I hate. This place,” she repeated.

 

“Oh boy here it is…”

 

“Don’t make this out to be some irrational craziness of mine,” she shot back, and now, now she was definitely angry. “Or that it’s coming out of nowhere. I barely see you anymore, between this place, and your beloved Avengers, or whatever else you come up with just to be away. You hang out with that kid more than you do with me. I don’t care how childish this sounds because it’s been a damn pattern for months now, maybe even a year? This doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore.”

 

Tony was able to look at her, but he didn’t know what to say. She was right, of course she was, and he had been pulling away. The work he had put into the relationship for a while had ebbed away slowly until he was back to his old patterns. Not sleeping around, of course not, but… pulling away. Being with anyone but his girlfriend.

 

He sighed. When Happy had asked him whether he would propose to her, it had been the beginning of the end. Apparently, he was incapable of settling down. The thought alone had put so much pressure on him that he had started pulling away. Maybe deep down hoping Pepper would finally end it, so he wouldn’t have to.

 

“I’m right,” she said, pulling him out of his thoughts.

 

“You always are,” he said quietly.

 

“Who is it, then?,” Pepper asked. She kept a distance between them, somehow, that was easier.

 

“What are you talking about? There’s no one else.”

 

“I know you, Tony,” she sighed, shifting from one foot to the other. “I know the signs and I saw them and I didn’t say anything because I wanted to believe that you had changed.”

 

“There’s still no one else,” Tony insisted, his mind only briefly conjuring the image of a certain red and blue clad young man. “I just- You want things that I can’t deliver. And I should have told you that sooner.”

 

“Yes, you should have. I can’t- God, I can’t believe you,” she was raising her voice now, straightening up to stand at her full height. “At least be honest with me now! Is that why you’ve been with Peter all this time? Please tell me you’re not fucking him.”

 

“Jesus Christ, are you serious right now?,” Tony finally stood, knowing full well that Peter could probably hear all of this happening, wherever he was. “The kid is seventeen, Pepper. No, I’m not fucking him!”

 

“I seriously hope you’re not lying.”

 

“Of course I’m not, Pepper, where the hell is this coming from?” Now he was raising his voice, finding himself defensive because he knew full well that she was right. Again.

 

“Because I know you. Tony- I- I know how you look at him and it’s disgusting. I know you never touch people, but you do touch him, as innocent as it might seem I will talk to him. To stay the hell away from you.”

 

“Pepper! Don’t just walk away-”

 

But she was gone already, rushed off in a fit of fury that he could understand far too well. He grabbed the nearest thing that wasn’t Peter’s present and let it explode against the wall, not caring how much work he might have put into it. A splinter ricocheted off the wall and cut his cheek but he didn’t care.

 

He needed a drink.

 

Rushing out of the workshop he made his way to the top floor where he found his way to the cabinet. It had been a while since he had craved alcohol this much but at this moment there was nothing stopping him, and the thought of Peter having heard all that… The first glass of whiskey he downed in one go, grimacing. This was not how he was supposed to drink it. Another glass, a little slower, then he poured another one to pace around the room.

 

Eventually he came to stand in front of the large glass window that opened up the room to the landing pad and the city skyline. Behind him he heard a soft tap, and another one. Spider-feet coming carefully into the room. He sighed.

 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he said.

 

“I’m sorry that she- I hope that I didn’t- I never meant to-”

 

Tony made the mistake of turning around to look at him. Standing there, clutching his mask, Peter looked so, so guilty. And sad. He was tired of the people around him being sad. Tony making them so. Why had he ever thought he could settle down?

 

“It’s not your fault, kid,” he said softly, walking a bit closer but then steering towards the large couch. He let himself fall into it, almost spilling his drink. He took another sip. “Maybe you should just go home.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Peter standing there for a while, then, to his dismay, he started walking towards him, and finally settled by his side. He had one leg at an angle, the other dangled off the couch, for a moment he glanced at it, then pinched the bridge of his nose to remind himself that Pepper had been absolutely right. He was disgusting.

 

“Are you alright, Mr. Stark? I mean- I’m sorry, you’re not, obviously, but uhm, is there anything I can do?”

 

“Oh kid,” he sighed, and kind of had to chuckle. “That’s really sweet of you but… You should go. Really.”

 

“But you’re sad. And drinking.” He reached out for his glass, and their fingers brushed against one another. He didn’t relent at first but Peter didn’t give up until he eventually took his glass, hesitated for a moment, then took a sip.

 

“Hey what are you doing-” Tony had to grin at the little grimace Peter made.

 

“Ew, you drink this?,” he shook his head and set the glass aside. “I don’t get it.”

 

“You don’t have to get it.” The look on Peter’s face was adorable, but why was he inching closer to Tony? That was the opposite of helping.

 

“I’m sorry if I got you into trouble,” Peter said softly. “I want to help.”

 

“There’s nothing you can do, kid. Just… go home,” he repeated himself, but somehow Peter didn’t seem to hear it.

 

“She said… that you look at me.”

 

Tony swallowed, considered going for that drink again, then decided against it. He didn’t need his inhibitions lowered any more. He could already feel the effect of the first two glasses.

 

“That- I-” That had done it. Tony was finally made speechless.

 

“I don’t mind,” Peter said softly, inching closer even more.

 

Tony looked at him sharply, but Peter didn’t flinch away. He was looking at him with those big beautiful eyes of his, that puppy look. So vulnerable. So young. Far, far too young.

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Tony shifted slightly so that there was a bit more distance between them, but Peter was still so close that he could feel the warmth of his body.

 

“I am. I look at you too.” He reached out to take Tony’s hand, whose heart was beating in his throat right now. What was the kid doing? “I’m sorry that you’re sad. I don’t want you to…”

 

He trailed off, not that Tony could really concentrate on what he was saying when his hand slowly caressed his arm, sliding higher. Eventually to his shoulder, then to his chest, and Peter came closer, closer. He hadn’t felt this nervous since he last thought he had lost him.

 

He had no idea what to do. No idea if he should move, or even if he could move. It almost felt as if he were someone else watching him as Peter leaned in and pressed his lips against his own. A shy, and awkward kiss that was likely his first.

 

“Mr. Stark,” his voice was like something between a whisper and a moan, and finally Tony shook himself awake form his stupor.

 

“Don’t ever do that again,” he said, covering Peter’s hand with his own in an attempt to push him away. Only his hand wouldn’t move further. “This can’t be happening. You’re-”

 

“Almost eighteen,” Peter interrupted. His hand wandered further up, a featherlight touch caressing his jaw. Tony was mesmerised. “I waited. I didn’t think you’d ever look at me but. Now I… I can’t wait anymore. You can… You can do anything with me. I want you to.”

 

“Stop saying these things just-,” he grabbed Peter’s wrist before he could do anything else. “Stop this. Right now. You know how old I am, we can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

“That doesn’t matter.”

 

“It matters to me,” Peter said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ve wanted this for a long time. I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about I just. I really like you. And I want you to be my first.”

 

“You’re not making this any easier,” he sighed. Peter did look sure of himself. “You shouldn’t do this with an old man, you should be with someone your own age and explore these things on your own terms.”

 

“But this is what I want.” Peter, evidently, wouldn’t let go of the subject. “You. Someone who…”

 

Tony let him gather his thoughts for a moment, but Peter didn’t go on.

 

“Someone who what?,” he asked.

 

“Is it… Does it hurt?”

 

Jesus fucking Christ the kid was innocent, and sweet, and lovely, and beautiful, and all of it made him want to protect him even more. And at the same time…

 

“It doesn’t, not if you do it right,” he said.

 

“Can you make it so it won’t hurt?”

 

“Yes but I-”

 

He didn’t know anymore what was going through his head when his hand came to the back of Peter’s head and pulled him in suddenly for a proper kiss. He deepened it without hesitation, feeling Peter try to kiss back clumsily, trying to get the hang of it as quickly as possible. Tony only let him go when he had to pull back for air, and somehow Peter had moved into his lap.

 

“Is this what you want?,” he asked, knowing full well Peter could now feel his half hard cock against his ass.

 

“Yes,” Peter breathed, looking overwhelmed, lips parted, looking so, so lovely. “Yes I want to make… make love to you.”

 

“‘Make love’... god, you’re so…,” ‘innocent’, he wanted to say. But Peter was kissing him again, getting the hang of it quickly and most thoughts dissipated from his head.

 

Only Peter needed him to think. He had asked him, almost begged him to not make it hurt. That one promise he had to keep. His hands slid under his shirt to caress his back, and he felt Peter whimper against his lips when he started exploring him, finally resting on his beautiful ass. That he had to admit, he had looked at plenty of times before.

 

“Hold on to me,” Tony whispered, grasping Peter’s thighs as he stood, the kid holding on to him easily.

 

In between kisses and looking out for the way they started making their way to the elevator, but just before it Tony froze in place. When he remembered, and almost winced at how bad this was.

 

“Mr. Stark?,” Peter asked carefully, biting on his lower lip as he glanced at Tony’s.

 

“Jarvis, is Pepper still here?,” he asked, and Peter looked down.

 

“Ms. Potts has left the building with a large suitcase fifteen minutes ago. She has instructed me to send her things after her,” Jarvis informed them.

 

He just stood there for a moment, looking at nothing in particular when Peter hugged him, legs still wrapped around him. Not knowing what else to do, he hugged back. It felt nice to feel him, his warmth, the small body wrapped around him. Why did he crave Peter so badly when he had… he had everything. All of it he was just throwing away.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark,” Peter said again, then Tony felt a careful kiss on his cheek. “Can I- I want to make you feel better.”

 

He was about to let go of Tony, so he started walking again. Most of what he was thinking and feeling, he was pushing down right now, getting lost in the feel and taste of Peter again. This was bad, this was really bad but no- Peter kissed him back and those small hands started exploring him, carefully and curiously.

 

Eventually they bumped against the back wall of the elevator and Tony fumbled for the buttons, finding them after a few tries. Peter only ever pulled away to catch his breath a little, letting Tony feel it against his lips, hot and needy.

 

He could find his way blindly to his bed by now, ignoring the way it still smelled somewhat of Pepper, focusing on the boy on top of him, now that they had fallen onto it. Peter sat up and shrugged out of his vest and shirt, revealing the soft skin and his pink nipples that Tony couldn’t stay away from. He focused on the left one first, finding the other with his fingers to tease and pinch, relishing in the whimpers and moans that came from Peter’s lips.

 

There was nothing else now. Just Peter. The taste of his nipple on his tongue, the weight of him in his lap, the scent surrounding him. Peter’s hands had found their way to Tony’s hair, fingers playing with it until he rolled them around, switching their positions. Tony pulled back to toss his shirt aside, then quickly pulled of Peter’s shoes, fingers then hooking under the waistband of his pants to pull those off as well. Now completely naked under him, Peter blushed a little but did not look away.

 

There was a nervousness in his eyes, but also curiosity. Alert, but eager. Tony couldn’t help but let his hands wander over him, the small form of Peter. He liked small, and delicate, just like what was underneath him right now.

 

“C-can I see you too?,” Peter asked softly, pulling Tony’s gaze from his pretty cock to his pretty face.

 

“Want to undress me?”

 

Peter nodded and sat up as Tony shifted from the bed to stand by its side. The kid looked more than eager as he did what Tony had just done, pushing down the sweatpants he tended to wear when working on the lower floor. Peter revealed how hard he was already, and Tony helped him get out of his sweatpants, but didn’t move back yet.

 

Peter was definitely shy, Tony knew that for as long as he had known him, but he still reached out to wrap a hand around his cock, stroking him carefully, without much pressure. When he looked up Tony almost had to curse, those innocent brown eyes watching him with so much… admiration.

 

“I mean, I’ve done this myself but I, uhm, I don’t know, is this good?,” Peter asked.

 

“Definitely good,” Tony sad softly, reaching out to caress his skin, then play with his hair.

 

He watched and let Peter do what he felt like doing, which was kissing the sensitive skin of his hip, peppering a trail of kisses to his belly and the treasure trail leading to his cock. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then kissed the tip of it, parting his lips to give a careful lick. Tony wanted to curse, this innocence turned him on and he was so dirty for it.

 

“Have you done this before?,” he asked instead.

 

“N-no,” Peter replied.

 

“Come here.”

 

He sat back down on the bed, but before he did anything else he pulled Peter into another kiss. It hadn’t taken long for him to get good at it, but he had always been a quick learner. Tony knew how to hold him just right, so they’d be close, so they’d feel every part of one another, and just like that he slowly guided Peter to lie down. Rummaging through his bedside drawer, he quickly found the lube he was looking for.

 

“Let me take care of you this time,” Tony said, realising that he had just implied they would do this again. Looking down at Peter and how eager he was, he already knew that he was doomed.

 

“Okay. Just… tell me what to do.”

 

“Kiss me.”

 

He cradled Peter close as he fingered him open, held the kid to his chest and drank up his moans eagerly. He was tight around him at first, but with soothing tones and plenty of kisses he managed to help him ease up a little, finally moaning loudly when he brushed against his prostate. That was the spot he needed to look out for, it made Peter make such a lovely noise.

 

“Turn around,” he finally whispered to him, and it looked like he had dragged Peter out of a drugged stupor.

 

“Huh?”

 

“It’ll hurt less from behind,” Tony explained.

 

“Oh.”

 

Peter looked so devastated suddenly, Tony held him back as he was turning, cupped his cheek and leaned in for a softer kiss. A gentle, almost chaste brush against his lips, lingering for a few more heartbeats. Peter smiled when he pulled away.

 

That smile had haunted him for months. That smile had been a comfort for him for much longer.

 

“I promised I wouldn’t make it hurt,” Tony said softly.

 

“I know. I trust you. Should I… lie down?”

 

“Here, take this pillow, put it under your hips.”

 

He guided him to lie down comfortably, put a pillow under his hips and gently spread his legs wider. Settling between them he took his time to make sure Peter was absolutely ready for him. Sweet, soft little moans escaped Peter’s lips as his tongue teased his entrance, alternating with his fingers to stretch him even wider.

 

“I’m going to go slow,” Tony said, leaning over the small form of Peter to kiss his shoulder, then his cheek.

 

Peter looked almost dazed but nodded, lifting his head for another kiss. He was so eager, so desperate for them. Thankfully, Tony was all too eager to provide. But he got distracted a little, when he lubed himself up and guided his cock to Peter’s entrance. He had rarely seen an ass so beautiful, and when he said so out loud Peter blushed and hid his face in the pillow, making Tony laugh.

 

“Hope you don’t mind the compliment,” Tony whispered, kissing his shoulder again.

 

“N-no,” came Peter’s soft voice, muffled from the pillow.

 

When Tony pushed into him, he turned his head again, gasping for air.

 

“Keep breathing,” Tony reminded him. “I’m gonna go very slow.”

 

He watched himself for a while, seeing his cock push into Peter, but when he whimpered he shifted his attention to his beautiful face. He talked sweetly to him, kissed his cheek, his shoulder and lips, rubbing over his back to keep him relaxed. Still, he was very careful to keep his promise, to not hurt him and he did not push in all the way. For now this was all Peter could take.

 

“You feel amazing,” Tony whispered to him.

 

“Really?,” trying his best to look back and at Tony, Peter smiled sweetly. “So-so do you. It feels really good.”

 

“It’s going to feel even better.”

 

“Oh? Ohhh…” The moan Peter let out when he started to move was almost adorable, and Tony found himself smiling, until he too was overwhelmed with Peter’s warmth and how tight he was.

 

Peter looked at him curiously for a moment when he started to moan as well, though Tony kept his thrusts slow and shallow. He covered the small form of Peter with his body, leaned in close to be able to kiss him, to comfort him, and make sure he was feeling pleasure instead of pain. This way they found a rhythm together, and though Tony wanted to push in deeper and fuck him harder, he held back.

 

Because when those brown eyes looked at him all he wanted to do was protect him.

 

“I’m close, Peter,” he gasped a little, reminding himself not to thrust into him too hard. “Can I come in you?”

 

“Uhm, ah, okay.” Peter was twisting the sheets under him, his face so beautifully showing the pleasure he felt.

 

Tony didn’t even realise that Peter hardly knew what he meant when he asked, but he was lost in the pleasure himself, the heat pooling at his groin and when Peter tightened around him he was over the edge before he could pull out of him. He stilled, moaning, face pressed against Peter’s shoulder where he pressed kisses and let his teeth nip him slightly.

 

Still in him, he rolled them both to the side so he could reach around Peter and wrap his hand around his cock, smaller than him but perfect in his hand.

 

“Come for me, Peter,” he whispered into his ear, earning a choked whimper in reply.

 

He didn’t need much encouragement to come over the sheets and Tony’s hand, who held him in place and watched him carefully as he came. Peter was frankly gorgeous. He thought so when he came, when he whimpered as he pulled out of him, then as he cradled him close and just watched him.

 

“You okay?,” Tony asked softly.

 

“Yeah. More than okay. Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

 

“I think we’re way past that now, Peter,” he said as he leaned in to kiss him. He reached between him to push his fingers into him, feel his own come there. “I think Tony is fine.”

 

“Nn, Tony ahh…,” the noises he made where halfway between a moan and a whimper, and Tony stilled his movements.

 

“You’re sensitive?”

 

“I told you, didn’t I? It’s all so ah, intense. I can still feel your come in me.”

 

Tony looked at him intensely, told him to open his eyes and look at him. Peter obeyed, blushing a little.

 

“Does that feel good or bad?”

 

“G-good. Very good,” Peter said quietly.

 

Tony kissed him again, wanting to make love to him all over again but not wanting to push Peter too far, he instead gave him time. He then pulled him into the shower to clean up together, then changed the sheets before he invited him into his arms. It was late now, and in the back of his mind Tony thought he remembered something about a school night.

 

That’s where his thoughts came to a grinding halt. He had just fucked a teenager. Almost 18 but still… Christ, why did he care for Peter so much? In all the wrong ways.

 

He barely got any sleep his thoughts were so persistent, but in the morning when Peter smiled at him they all went away. He should say no, he should push him away but when Peter snuggled up to him and asked for another kiss he couldn’t help but provide. And when the naked form of him pressed closer, caressing his chest he couldn’t help but take him again. A little faster, a little harder, fingers curling in his hair and pulling his head back. The sounds Peter made, they turned him on so much but when the kid limped slightly on the way to the bathroom, he felt horrible all over again.

 

And then there was Pepper.

 

She was cold to him when she showed up to get more of her things. Tony preferred it this way, he was too tired for another argument, and what really was there to say? That he was sleeping with a 17 year old kid? That he was pretty sure that he loved him? He almost flinched when they talked about Peter. She had called him, and he had evidently been understanding.

 

“I hope he doesn’t show up here again,” she said.

 

But he did. Every time Peter was gone Tony promised himself he would end it next time they met. And every time Peter came over and kissed him, undressed for him, Tony fell right back in the pit that were his complicated feelings for him.

 

As good as being with him in the moment was, Tony’s levels of anxiety reached new heights whenever he was gone. Once or twice they had already almost gotten caught, only thanks to Peter’s quick reflexes had Steve been completely oblivious to what had been going on between them.

 

Struggling with this for months finally lead to his breaking point. It finally lead to Tony saying no, to pull away from Peter. With his head in his hands he sat on the bed, bare feet on the cold floor. Peter inched closer, hugged him from behind and he tensed.

 

“Are you sick?,” Peter asked. So innocent, and sweet.

 

“No I just- Peter,” he sighed, turning to him and Peter pulled away. “We can’t do this anymore.”

 

“What, why?” Peter looked shocked and he leaned in, one hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No, I- You know that this is wrong,” he said, pushing Peter’s hand away. “You know we should have never started this. You’re so young and I’m- I’m not.”

 

“But that doesn’t matter, we… care for each other. I really do.”

 

“I know that you do and you’re sweet but I- Listen, Peter. If this came out, I could go to jail. It’s all I can think about these days and it’s just too much, I barely get through the day without a panic attack. I can’t do this anymore and you need to stop coming here.”

 

He watched as Peter’s eyes filled with tears, and as badly as he wanted to reach out and hug him, kiss him and tell him that everything would be okay, he couldn’t. It would be a lie.

 

“I never meant to make you sad,” Peter said, hugging himself. “I always just thought that it was me I- I won’t ever tell anyone, you won’t go to jail.”

 

“We can’t risk that. And it doesn’t change the fact that I should never have touched you this way. I need a break.”

 

Peter hadn’t understood what he meant with that. He dressed again and kissed his cheek in goodbye, swinging home in his Spidey suit. Tony stayed there, hoping that he would realise that this was important, they had to end it. He had already tainted Peter enough.

 

He must have sat there for hours, and only Jarvis’ voice pulled him from the pit of misery that he had dug for himself.

 

“There is a voice message from Mr. Parker for you, sir.”

 

He shouldn’t play it. Tony knew that he shouldn’t listen to it.

 

“Play it,” he said.

 

Peter’s voice was shaky, and he could hear that he was crying.

 

“I finally got it I- You don’t want a break, you want to break up I-,” he hiccuped, and there was shuffling. Tony pictured him wiping tears off his face. “Please, I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you I- I can really keep it secret just please Mr. Stark- Tony- Please I already miss you so much, please call me please tell me this is going to be okay, please… Just… please.”

 

He don’t know when he had cried last. Maybe during one of his panic attacks, or maybe when he woke up dreaming of that black hole that had appeared in the sky above New York. Either was, he was almost shaking with the force of his misery, trying to hold on to himself and hold back the tears but for a while, it was no use.

 

He should never have done this. Now he had hurt him, now Peter was crying just like he was, heartbroken over him, of all people. He had ruined him. Peter was already far too grown up for his own good, getting into fights that didn’t concern him. Now Tony had taken his first intimate experiences that he should have had with someone his own age, perhaps Ned who was crushing hard on Peter and Spider-Man.

 

Not knowing what else to do, he quickly fell back into his old patterns. He practically lived in the workshop now, working all day and night and when he couldn’t sleep whiskey helped him along the way. Upon his orders Jarvis stopped informing him when Peter left him new voice messages, although the temptation to listen to them was strong, even more so when he was drunk.

 

Sometimes, when he was drunk, he did listen to them, and his heart broke all over again. Peter begged him every time just to call him, to give him any sign that he was still alive. But Tony shut himself off from his friends too, rarely going out as Iron Man either. He just had to get through this, wait it out until Peter had gotten over him, then soon he would see that this was the only right choice here.

 

Never having slept with him in the first place would have been the right choice, but Tony tried not to think of it that way, or his thoughts threatened to turn to even darker places.

 

One night it was Jarvis who broke him out of his drunken stupor, half draped over one of his work benches, he realised only when sitting up that his face had been lying on a piece of metal. Feeling his cheek with his fingers it had left a strange imprint on his cheek. Thankfully, no one was around to see him this way. He poured himself another glass.

 

“What is it, Jarvis?”

 

“Mr. Parker is in the lobby, sir.”

 

“What?,” he asked sharply, and as he turned spilled some of the whiskey. Cursing to himself he quickly put the stopped back in the bottle.

 

“Shall I let him in, sir?”

 

“No, no! God, no, don’t ever let him in, Jarvis. I can’t- Just, jot that down, don’t let Peter Parker inside the tower under any circumstances.”

 

“Very well, sir.”

 

Tony did not know what part of Jarvis could have possibly been thinking that showing Tony the camera feed of the lobby was a good idea. Now here he was, staring at the projected image of Peter on his knees, banging against the glass door, crying his heart out. Tony had already dropped his glass, shards all around him, his socks wet with whiskey.

 

“Mr. Stark please,” Peter was begging. “Please just talk to me. I never meant to make you sad, I’m so sorry, please just let me fix it.”

 

He was babbling, and begging, and it was the most heartbreaking sight Tony had ever seen in his entire life, worse than watching Pepper go because of what he had done to Peter. He was shaking at the sight, shaking and craving another drink but above all, he just wanted to make it stop.

 

“Jarvis cut the feed,” he practically yelled at him, and the image vanished before his eyes. “Don’t ever fucking do that again. Don’t you ever…”

 

He sank to his knees, feeling some of the glass shards dig into his leg but he couldn’t care less about the pain when his heart was breaking into a million pieces. Peter didn’t deserve this, to be treated this way but Tony didn’t know what else to do knowing that if Peter was right in front of him, he would just give in again. When those brown eyes looked at him nothing else in the world seemed to matter and he couldn’t- He couldn’t do this anymore. It was so, so wrong, not to mention the legal consequences their relationship could have. If it ever got out… Even he had never caused such a bad scandal.

 

Eventually Jarvis informed him that Peter had left the building, and only then did he get up to look at his leg. It was soaked, and a few glass shards were still sticking to it though none had thankfully pierced his skin. He was cleaning himself up and changing, pouring himself one more drink when he got another message. Voice mail. From Peter. He sighed. Maybe he would finally be angry at him. Maybe he would finally be able to let go.

 

But the thought of hearing Peter cry or beg him again was a little too much for him with the relatively small amount of alcohol in his body. He found himself pacing and drinking again, trying to distract himself in any way before he realised he wouldn’t be able to get anything done or get any sleep until he listened to it, heartbreak or no.

 

“Play it,” he said, hearing how exhausted he sounded.

 

“I just wanted you to talk to me,” Peter was saying, some shuffling indicated he was walking through his apartment, doing… something? “You’re not doing that and it’s just- You’re a coward. But I love you, I’m gonna love you forever and I just-”

 

There was clinking and more rustling, the sound of something being poured.

 

“May’s gonna be upset when her stuff is gone,” Peter sounded as if he were addressing himself more than Tony. “I don’t care I can’t do this anymore I need it to stop hurting-”

 

The voice mail cut off suddenly, and Tony didn’t know if it was Peter or if he had maybe dropped his phone. But when he realised what he must have been doing he sat up sharply. “Her stuff”. Peter hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in his entire life because he was a good man and now- Tony hurried to rush out of the tower and get into his car, ignoring that he had been drinking as well. All he could think about was Peter doing something to himself because of him.

 

Tony rushed inside the building, banging on Peter’s door, thinking that if he didn’t open up he would break it down if he had to. But he heard movement behind the door, something falling, and someone fumbling with the lock. Everything he had been fearing was true, Peter had been drinking, and if that bottle had been full before, far too much already. There was only a little bit left in it. Peter’s eyes were red from crying, and he hiccuped when he saw Tony.

 

“What do you want?,” Peter slurred his words terribly, and as he tried to close the door he stumbled. Tony stepped forward, catching him.

 

“Because of this. You can’t just leave a voice mail like this and then- Christ, Peter, why would you do this?”

 

“Didn’t think you’d be listening,” Peter replied, trying to get away a little from Tony but giving up when he didn’t relent.

 

He let Tony push him inside a little and he turned to close the door, then pried the bottle of - cheap - whiskey from his hands. Peter complained but he seemed to be pretty out of it already. He was going to pick him up and bring him to bed when Peter spoke again.

 

“My tummy hurts.”

 

Tony sighed. He looked so young in this moment. Not the responsible Spider-Man he had gotten to know, just a heartbroken kid crying his eyes out because he had made the wrong choice. He should never have touched him. He should never have fallen in love with him.

 

“Alright, let’s go to the bathroom first.”

 

He set him down gently by the toilet, lifting the seat. Peter’s head was resting against the wall and he was somewhat focusing on Tony. Tears were still rolling down his cheeks.

 

“Do you have some ibuprofen?,” Tony asked, standing up to search through any cabinets in the bathroom.

 

“Mirror cabinet.”

 

Tony laid everything out by Peter’s bedside, some water, the pills, he would need them in the morning, before he came back to him and made him drink a little to even out all the alcohol. Peter eventually just pushed him away and shook his head, then froze. Tony knew that look, brushed a hand through his hair and rubbed his back when he leaned over the toilet to throw up. Not much else he could do, and it was better to get some of it out than having it all in.

 

He made sure they stayed here for a while until Peter was all done, then helped him rinse his mouth and put him to bed. Either way he would feel bad in the morning, but there was nothing else he could do now. At least he didn’t need a hospital. He couldn’t bring himself to leave. He was responsible for all of this happening in the first place, he had to make sure that Peter was okay.

 

Well, okay was relative. After watching over him all night and May thankfully not coming home, Peter woke up with a whimper and shielded his eyes from the sun coming in. Tony closed the blinds and made sure that he noticed the water and pills by his bedside. Before leaving, he hesitated.

 

“Don’t ever do that again, Peter.”

 

“Then don’t just ignore me,” he replied softly.

 

“There was no other way,” he said.

 

“Bullshit you- You fuck me and then- Then this I-”

 

“Because I can’t stay away from you!,” Tony turned, and his raised voice made Peter flinch. He brushed through is own hair in frustration. “Because every time you’re near me and you ask me to kiss you I just can’t say no! Because this is wrong because I need to stop because I-”

 

He didn’t know what else to say, he didn’t know how to make this any easier. And Peter, he was already tearing up again. He had caused him so much hurt…

 

“I can wait,” Peter said softly.

 

“What?”

 

“If I’m 21, it’s not a big deal, right?”

 

“Oh Peter, don’t do this,” despite himself, Tony closed the distance between them again, and knelt in front of the bed. “Don’t ruin your life for me like that.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Peter insisted.

 

“Peter, ugh-,” he brushed through his hair again, why was he being so stubborn? “I can’t promise the same. Just- Forget about me. Don’t do this to yourself.”

 

Peter closed his eyes and sighed when Tony’s hand briefly cupped his cheek, but he quickly pulled away again.

 

“I’ll wait. I don’t care. I’ll be here.”

 

Tony sighed, and stood again. There was nothing more to say. If Peter wanted to be stubborn, then he would be stubborn. All he could hope for was that he would fall in love with someone else and finally forget about him. And finally heal from what Tony had done to him. He left the apartment for the last time.

 


	2. Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't stay away from Peter, who is slowly becoming a part of the Avengers. So he makes a choice to leave and wait, hoping that Peter's promise would be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned before hate comments will simply be deleted.

It was going to be easy.

 

Tony was going to shut him out completely, never see him again, fuck a few other people, then, surely, he would get over Peter. Some of his plan, he did go through with, not that a string of nights with strangers was very fulfilling these days. Maybe he was getting old. Maybe he was far too hung up on Peter than he was supposed to be.

 

Alone, at night, he still thought of him. How he felt in his arms, how his smile had made him feel, how the time they spent together had been peaceful. Whenever his guilty conscience hadn’t kept him up, being with Peter had been easy. If the age gap hadn’t been there… Tony might have called him perfect. He had loved watching him lie in bed, working on some ideas, be they for school, college applications or his Spider-Suit. He especially loved watching after they had made love, and Peter was only covered by a sheet that left little to the imagination.

 

Peter could get so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice Tony’s hand wandering over his back, or resting on that beautiful behind. The memory brought a smile to his face even through the tears and the alcohol. That’s how it was mostly these days, just anything to try and keep himself away from him. Nothing had ever been so hard. He’d gladly build another suit out of scrap metal if that made his heart any lighter.

 

And it didn’t help that the Avengers decided it was a good idea to invite Spider-Man on missions. The first time Tony had almost done a double take, he had definitely cursed and then tried to keep his composure. In the briefing room, sitting there as if he had always been a part of the team, was Peter, fully suited up.

 

His brain quickly tried to come up with everything he wasn’t supposed to know about Peter, like that mole on his shoulder or the sweet little noise he made when Tony brushed over his sweet spot. The others, most likely, did not even know his real name. Tony had made sure that Peter was protected, and could live a normal life as much as he wanted to.

 

“What’s the kid doing here?,” he asked as he took one of the chairs, trying very hard to focus all of his attention on Steve, who usually led these meetings.

 

“Thought we could use the help,” Steve replied. “He knows the city well and it’s a relatively low danger mission. Eventually he might be part of the team and he can use the practice.”

 

Peter didn’t turn to meet his gaze at all, not that Tony would be able to tell with the mask.

 

“I-,” before he could say anything else Steve interrupted him.

 

“Sorry, Tony, we don’t have much time to argue. It is just a bank robbery but these men have weapons they shouldn’t have. Seems to be very advanced technology.”

 

“And you think taking him is a good idea?,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’m here, you know,” Peter mumbled, but Steve held up a hand to calm him.

 

“He’s stealthy, he’s quick, he, Natasha and I can take out stragglers quickly while you… do your thing. Distract them. Alright?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Tony’s mind was racing. He wasn’t being too obvious, was he? How had Peter even gone inside he had forbidden- Oh Jarvis. Tony had forbidden Peter Parker from entering the tower, not Spider-Man. It seemed his AI had conveniently forgotten that they were the same person. He made sure to scold him the minute he was in his suit and no one could hear him anymore.

 

“Mr. Rogers was insisting on having him here,” Jarvis said. “I felt it prudent not to mention your… relationship, with Mr. Parker.”

 

Tony gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes. Why was Jarvis always right? When had this become their relationship?

 

“Fine just… move every footage of Peter and I to my most secure server. Hell, invent new encryption for it.”

 

“Right away, sir.”

 

While he was busy pretending to negotiate with those in the bank, putting on a bit of a show he simultaneously watched the feed of his fellow Avengers inside. Especially Peter’s. Steve, and he hated admitting it, had been right, as he usually was. Peter was incredible. Fast. Silent. Deadly, even, if that were the type of person he was. Of course he never seriously hurt any of them, even though they were arguably bad people.

 

Tony sighed. Peter was a better man than he was.

 

In a spectacular manoeuvre of acrobatic ability, Peter took out the last man standing, who threatened to kill one of their hostages. The day was saved, and Spider-Man was praised for his good work. Steve had a big smile on his face, and shook his hand once they had come outside. Tony could practically hear Peter freaking out about this moment.

 

Tony kept glancing Peter’s way during the debriefing back in the tower. As usual, Steve went through the good and bad, which he usually ignored. But he could tell Peter was smiling at Steve with his big, cute smile. He tried not to feel any form of jealousy and failed.

 

“Anyone else want to throw something in?,” Steve asked, he had evidently finished up.

 

“Just keep us posted on the tracing of these weapons,” Natasha said. “We need to cut them off at the source.”

 

Steve just nodded in agreement, when Tony finally decided to speak up. He just had to.

 

“Come on, guys, really?,” he looked at their confused faces and sighed. “We can’t keep taking a kid on these missions. Please tell me this was the last time.”

 

“I’m not a kid,” it was the first time Peter had addressed him directly.

 

“Shh, adults are talking. It’s too dangero-,” before he could finish his sentence and before Steve could speak up he found himself with a webbed mouth.

 

He turned to stare at Peter in surprise.

 

“Oh my god he just did that,” Sam’s voice came from behind him.

 

“I am either a kid, or I can help you out when shit goes down. You can’t have it both ways.”

 

Something else hit his mouth and he felt the webs dissolving, so he ripped the rest from his mouth - which hurt - and turned to Peter.

 

“I didn’t want you here because all I want you to do is live your life, keep your neighbourhood safe and stop. Chasing. After me.”

 

Tony realised too late what he had said, but Peter’s mask didn’t betray any emotion. For a moment though, he thought he saw him tense up.

 

“What do you mean by that?,” Steve asked him, arms crossed.

 

“Well-,” his brain was thinking at a million miles per second as he tried to come up with a reasonable explanation. “The kid idolises me. Keeps following me around. He’s so starstruck, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have him around. Like I said, too dangerous.”

 

“I didn’t have the impression that was a problem today,” Natasha said, shifting and leaning on the large desk they were all sitting around. “What do you say?”

 

Everyone was turning to look at Peter who definitely tensed up now. Tony didn’t dare to look at him though, despite the mask. He already felt guilty for being so cruel.

 

“You’re a bastard,” Peter eventually said, then stood and walked out of the room. Steve called after him but he didn’t stop.

 

“Well, that was… strange,” Steve looked at him. “Care to explain?”

 

“No.”

 

He too left the room, sighing to himself. He had never heard Peter curse before. But better that he was angry, even furious with him. Maybe that would help Peter get over him. Maybe that would help Tony get over Peter. How the hell had he fallen in love with him of all people?

 

Steve, naturally, ignored his request to keep Peter out of the team. Tony didn’t know when or what he had told the kid, but a few weeks later there was another mission that he showed up for. He didn’t comment on it that time, but made sure to glare at Steve when he was sure he would notice. As much as he always thoughts himself as the group’s leader, Steve clearly was. And he had apparently decided that it was Peter’s time to join the gang.

 

He did his best to work with him but otherwise ignore him. Peter too was curt, and for a while Tony thought maybe this would be it, eventually. He still yearned for Peter, but he had himself under control. Mostly. There were still those nights where he drank himself to sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about whatever amazing thing Peter had done that day.

 

Peter was that: amazing. Kind. Sweet. Funny. He was a better man than Tony would ever be, the thought always came back to him. All he was doing was ruin Peter’s life.

 

But Peter was also reckless when he was trying to be a hero. Tony hadn’t just wanted him off the team for selfish reasons. It was because he blamed himself when he saw Peter get hit mid-swing. His heart stopped when he saw him fall. Unmoving, hurtling towards the ground. All thoughts vanished from his mind and he moved on instinct, testing his suit’s limits in regards to speed. He had to be there in time. He had to. And he was.

 

Peter looked so small in his arms. He pulled off his mask, there was so, so much blood all over his face. This couldn’t be happening.

 

“Jarvis, tell me he’s still alive.”

 

“He is breathing,” Jarvis told him. “He appears to be a concussion but I recommend professional attention immediately. I cannot scan his body well while he is not in the suit.”

 

“Right. Fuck. Right.”

 

Somehow he had the mental capacity to remember to put on Peter’s mask again before he reached the hospital. Bursting through the emergency room, all eyes were on him. He did not care.

 

“He needs help!,” was all he could shout, doctors and nurses running towards him already. He felt himself shaking as he put Peter down on a gurney, as he tried to tell them what happened and that they needed to keep Peter’s identity secret.

 

“I’m sorry, sir, you need to wait here.” A nurse had put a hand on his chest plate to stop him. “They’re taking him to the OR. Technically you’re not family and you shouldn’t be here but…”

 

“I’m Tony Stark,” he finished. Sighing, he realised that someone needed to call May.

 

“Yeah, pretty much,” she said. “Trust the doctors, okay? They’ll do their best, and we won’t let anything get out.”

 

Tony nodded and watched her go into the OR as well. With nothing else to do, he got out of the suit, almost immediately collapsing on the floor. What if Peter didn’t make it? What if he had to tell May that her most precious boy was gone forever? There were so many “what if”s in side his head that everything started to spin and he had to try and just not pass out when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

He looked up and his vision focused on Steve, who looked a bit dirty, a bit bruised, but otherwise okay. There was concern in his eyes, and he briefly glanced at the doors leading to the operating room.

 

“What happened?,” he asked.

 

“He got hit,” Tony’s voice was shaking with fear and anger. “This is exactly why- This is- What if- God, someone has to call May. Someone has to-”

 

He was suddenly pulled into a hug, Steve’s strong arms around him. Though he tried to fight it at first, the spark of anger still in him, fear was what overwhelmed him then. He couldn’t comprehend what would happen if he lost Peter, there was no way his heart would be able to survive. He was shaking in Steve’s embrace, tried to focus of the scent of dirt and fire on his suit but ended up helplessly crying in his arms.

 

Only when his nerves had calmed a little, did he realise how much he had just showed.

 

“You care for him,” Steve said, meeting his eyes. “I didn’t realise… But he knew what he was getting into. You know that.”

 

“That’s no excuse he’s seventeen for god’s sake he shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t have to worry about calling his aunt with news like this. And someone has to.”

 

“I will,” he said. “Just… Stay here.”

 

Where else was he going to go? He leaned against the wall by his still open suit and tried to not overhear Steve talking to May on the phone. She would be here soon and he would have to face her. The one who got Peter into this whole mess in the first place. What had he been thinking, taking Peter to Berlin with him? Never again would he let his fear make the worst kind of decisions in his life.

 

He stood when May rushed into the room, looking around and seeing no one but him. Steve was just behind her, almost reaching out to make her stop. But Tony deserved everything she would throw at him and he gave him a curt ‘no’. She was crying, looking just how Tony felt, and she didn’t even hesitate one moment before she punched him. Not a slap, no. Tony reeled with the impact, more force than he had expected, and his hand immediately came to his eye. This would definitely leave a bruise. Good.

 

“This is all your fault!,” she yelled at him. He didn’t look at her. “You’re the one who pulled him into all of this. How come he’s doing shit like this with the Avengers now, huh? He never said- He was just supposed to- How could you do this?!”

 

Tony didn’t even try to dodge the second blow to his face either, noticing through the pain that Steve was now coming to hold her back and tried to calm her down.

 

“Hey, hey, that’s not necessary, May-,” he grabbed her wrist and firmly held it in place. “He knew what he was getting into, you know that. He’s doing this because I asked him to and because he’s a good man. He was trying to help and it’s on me that he got hurt. Don’t let it out on him.”

 

“But he- I-,” May was lost for words, just like him, and finally let Steve embrace her. Together they sank down on the bench and then… there was nothing else to do but wait.

 

Tony got lost in his own mind, vaguely heard Steve talk to some of their team mates, but he only managed to pay attention when the doors to the OR finally opened. All three of them stood immediately, looking at the doctor expectantly.

 

“The surgery went well,” she said. “He’ll be okay, especially with his advanced healing. We already noticed it kicking in during surgery. Now he just needs rest.”

 

“Oh thank god,” May said, leaning in to Steve’s embrace again, then actually went to hug the doctor as well who only smiled.

 

“Tony-,” Steve interrupted himself when he saw Tony getting back into the suit. “Don’t you want to see him?”

 

He didn’t reply, he didn’t look at him, just hid inside his suit to make it through the ER and back outside. Jarvis took over for him to safely deliver him back to the tower where he reached for the nearest bottle of whiskey with shaking hands. He couldn’t stand thinking about Peter anymore, how horribly broken and small he had looked in his arms. Peter was strong, he would heal, he would be okay but he couldn’t- He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep feeling this way.

 

All these emotions and thoughts he drowned in the bottle until he passed out and didn’t have to think anything anymore. He even welcomed the headache that persisted in his head when he was rudely woken up by Star Spangled Banner. He didn’t want to talk to Steve but he was persistent and didn’t hang up no matter how long Tony waited.

 

“What?,” he asked, finally accepting his fate.

 

“I convinced May to go home and get some rest. I thought maybe you didn’t want to let him be here alone, I have to take care of some things too,” Steve said, sounding very tired. “The doctors said he might very well wake up soon.”

 

“Fine.” Tony hung up and pushed himself into an upright position. A sharp pain hit the side of his head but he ignored it, brought himself to shower and take some painkillers before driving to the hospital.

 

He had seen before that May’s punch had left bruises on his face that he didn’t bother to put make up on, just put on sunglasses to shield himself from most of the sun’s glare. It didn’t take long for him to find Peter’s room, most of the nurses seemed to be ‘in the know’. He saw with relief that there was no name on his door, or his chart. They had kept their promise.

 

His hand was on the door knob, but he hesitated. Did he really want Peter to see him first thing when he woke up? Then again, the only thing he could imagine to be worse was him seeing no one at all… So he carefully went inside, taking in a sharp breath when he saw his small form sleeping there. Didn’t he used to be taller? Tony wasn’t sure anymore.

 

Now he seemed to all but move on his own when he sat on the edge of Peter’s bed and took his hand between his own. It was warm and felt just like that time Peter had shyly reached for his hand to intertwine their fingers after they had made love. Like a real couple, he just wanted to be with him, and Tony had not always been able to deny these things. He shouldn’t have been romantic with him, made everything so much more difficult. And yet, right now, looking at him, he couldn’t regret it. At least in some ways, he had made Peter happy, hadn’t he?

 

Quietly, he sat there, reaching out every now and then to brush through his hair, make sure it wasn’t in his face, adjust the sheet covering him. When Peter wrinkled his nose in that cute way that he did before waking up, Tony’s heart stopped in his chest. He hadn’t really expected to be the one to see him wake up. But he did, and Peter’s confused eyes looked around the room before they settled on Tony.

 

He tensed up, waiting for Peter’s reaction. After an agonising moment, it turned out to be a smile.

 

“Hey,” Peter said in a croaky voice and Tony quickly helped him by moving the bed into a sitting position, then gave him a little to drink. “Hey… what uh… what happened? Did we win?”

 

“Pretty sure we did,” he said, thought he had no idea. He just figured if they hadn’t, Steve would have told him. “How do you feel?”

 

“My head hurts,” he said softly, grimacing when he felt the side of it and noticed gauze there. “Ouch.”

 

“It’s okay, you’re still beautiful,” Tony said, and took his hand away from his head. He didn’t let go of it either. “You need some rest now. Your powers will do the rest.”

 

Peter looked at him intently with a slight blush in his cheeks, then glanced down at where they were holding hands. He sighed and leaned back in his bed. For a few heartbeats, they just looked at each other.

 

“Why is your face bruised?,” Peter eventually asked.

 

“Your aunt had some things to say to me,” he replied, taking off his sunglasses to show the extent of them. “She was right. This is what I was always afraid of.”

 

“I knew what I was getting into, you know. I didn’t just do it to be close to you.”

 

“‘Just’?,” Tony teased with a smile.

 

“Well, yeah, maybe it was part of it. I told you I would wait.”

 

“Peter-”

 

“It’s fine, you don’t believe me,” Peter interrupted him. “It’s fine, really. I’m… glad you’re here.”

 

Tony paused.

 

“So am I.”

 

“Do you- I mean- Can you just… hold me? It won’t mean anything I just...”

 

Peter looked so vulnerable, how could he ever say no to an innocent request like that. He moved the bed back into a lying position and lifted the covers to slip under them, careful not to rip out the IV and gathered him close. Peter sighed and snuggled up to him, closing his eyes. Neither said anything, and pretty soon Tony could tell that he was asleep again. The kid would be alright, soon enough. Sooner than he wanted him to, because he knew once he was back on his feet Peter would want to help out again.

 

He sneaked out of the room before he could see all this happen. There were more voice mails again, from Peter. Tony had thought they had stopped a while ago, but this… He didn’t know what this was. Just because he had gotten hurt nothing had changed, right? Peter was still young and Tony had still taken advantage of him, or fallen in love with him, one of those, anyway.

 

For a week, he tried to distract himself. It felt like he was back where he had been ten years ago, partying, fucking, drinking himself into a haze. Something had to work, there had to be that one thing that let him forget about Peter and not call him in the middle of the night.

 

He had made the mistake of listening to his voice mail from when Peter had been in the hospital. He had been able to hold out for so long, but drinking lowered his inhibitions and before it made him forget, it led him to do stupid things.

 

“Hey Mr. St- Tony…,” his voice came through the speakers in the room, as if he were all around him. “I woke up and you weren’t there anymore… it’s fine. I just… I know why. I understand, I really do. It’s not easy for you either, I get that. I just miss you. And I wish I didn’t have to wait for so long but I will. Feeling you close it was-”

 

A little sob escaped his lips, betraying that he had been crying during all of this, and Tony’s heart broke all over again. At this point, he hadn’t thought it was capable of that anymore.

 

“I miss just being with you. I hope that maybe, I don’t know… we can be friends. Until I’m old enough. I would like that. I think that’s what I wanted to say. Okay uhm. Bye Tony.”

 

“Call Peter,” he said to Jarvis.

 

“Sir, are you sure-”

 

“Just call him.”

 

“Right away, sir.”

 

He didn’t even know what he was going to say, only that his yearning for Peter was too strong and he just… needed him. Badly.

 

“Tony is that you?,” Peter’s voice seemed unsure.

 

“I miss you so fucking much,” Tony blurted out, running a hand through his hair. “Come over.”

 

“A-are you sure?”

 

“Just come over, I need you.”

 

He cut the call and poured himself another glass, emptying it halfway before he saw the familiar red and blue sight outside his window. He opened it and pulled Peter inside, pushing up the mask so he could kiss him. Peter was clumsy at first, but kissed him back eagerly when he realised what was happening. God, feeling him in his arms was the best thing in the world.

 

“Tony, are you drunk?,” Peter asked, panting a little against his lips. “We shouldn’t do this if you’re drunk.”

 

“It’s the only time to do this,” Tony chuckled to himself but Peter didn’t look amused. “Just… please, just tonight.”

 

“What do you-,” Peter gasped when Tony squeezed his ass, and started leading him to his bed. He didn’t refuse his kisses or pushed him away, neither did he pull back when they fell onto the bed.

 

Tony turned them around so he was on top of Peter, started undressing himself and then him. Why he couldn’t stop was beyond him. And Peter, he didn’t stop either.

 

Waiting for him had made Tony want Peter even more, and now they were back where they had been months ago. Kissing, exploring each other frantically, and finally Tony pushed into him and felt his perfect warmth around his cock again like he had dreamed of so many times. He didn’t look away this time or made Peter turn around, this time he wanted to remember it all and suddenly the alcohol didn’t seem so strong anymore.

 

“You’re so lovely,” he whispered to him, unable to quite say the words he wanted to say.

 

“I love you, Tony,” Peter all but moaned his name. He was braver than Tony, he had always known that. Saying those things he wanted to say.

 

He didn’t want to lie to him, so Tony said nothing, instead kissed him and drank in those lovely moans that he thought of when he was lying in bed all by himself. He made sure that this was slow and intimate, that he made Peter feel good. Amazing, even. He watched his lovely face and felt him tighten around him, holding on to his shoulders and meeting his eyes every now and then. Maybe Peter could tell what he felt, maybe he was too drunk to show it.

 

Either way they fell asleep entangled, sated, and somewhat at peace. Waking up next to him felt… surreal. For a moment he could pretend that this was normal, that this was okay, but he was sobering up and realised how stupid he had been again. Instead of moving on he had dragged Peter right down with him. When he woke up too, he didn’t say anything, just turned to look at him, hand caressing his cheek. Peter looked to old for his own sake, and Tony knew that was partially his fault.

 

He leaned in to kiss him, letting it linger for as long as he could, simply so unwilling to pull away and have reality come crashing down on them.

 

“Still drunk?,” Peter asked softly.

 

“Nope. Sober as I’ll ever be.”

 

“Do you regret last night?”

 

Tony paused, squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and sighed.

 

“Yes and no.”

 

“Nothing’s changed, hm?” Peter shifted a little but didn’t pull away.

 

“Pretty much. I shouldn’t have called you I- I should be locked away.”

 

“Don’t be stupid. I didn’t say no either I… encouraged you,” Peter said. “If anything, I took advantage of you.”

 

Tony chuckled humorlessly, and another sigh escaped his lips.

 

“Don’t be silly.”

 

“I’m not…,” Peter trailed off, his finger tracing his lower lip. He was thinking about something, Tony could tell. “Have you… been with someone else?”

 

“I told you I couldn’t promise that I would wait for you. I tried to forget you. And I thought… if you were angry with me this would stop but we-”

 

“Can’t stay away from each other,” Peter finished.

 

“Maybe I need to leave.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Tony finally pulled away to sit up, and Peter followed suit, looking worried.

 

“I’ll just go,” Tony said. “Away, travel, or something, hell, maybe even go to the moon so I won’t be tempted to do this again I l-”

 

He couldn’t. He just couldn’t say it.

 

“You what?,” Peter asked, but Tony just shook his head.

 

“You need to grow up at your own pace, I have to stay away from you, somehow.”

 

For a moment Peter looked panicked, but he looked down, and when he met Tony’s gaze again he looked so… grown up. Tony wasn’t sure if he liked that look.

 

“Okay,” Peter just said.

 

“What?”

 

“I know that you’re right. I’ll just… I’ll miss you, but I don’t want to make you so sad anymore. I want you to want to be with me. When it’s time, I guess.”

 

“You are far more grown up than I am,” Tony said, giving him a weak smile. “I wish this could be different. I wish those years could pass faster and I could promise that I’ll still feel the same.”

 

“I will,” Peter said. He was inching closer again, then reached out to hug him. Just a hug, and Tony quickly relaxed into it. “I know you’ll call me silly, but I will. And then, maybe, it can just be okay.”

 

“Yeah, maybe…”

 

Watching Peter leave must have been one of the hardest things he had ever done. Because he knew that he wouldn’t see him, that he might fall out of love with him. That was the best outcome, wasn’t it? He didn’t really talk to anyone as he packed his bags and called Happy to fly him away to a far away island where he could drink, party, and generally forget the world. The first time he really came around to himself was about a month later, when he realised, naked and alone on a beach, that maybe drinking his sorrows away wasn’t the best course of action.

 

And it wasn’t like he could stop thinking about Peter. But travelling and staying busy somehow, that helped. Every now and then he would send something to him, a postcard, with a few words, totally random observations or a simple “I miss you”. Random knick knacks, things he thought Peter might like usually found his way to him as well.

 

And a few months later he even managed to take a call from Steve.

 

“What the hell are you thinking?,” were the first words he yelled at him. “You can’t just fucking vanish without a trace!”

 

“Language,” Tony reminded him, letting the Indian sun warm his belly.

 

“Tony, I swear to god-”

 

“Relax, Cap,” he rolled his eyes at Happy who had long since accepted his fate. He was just going to be along for the ride whether he wanted to or not. “You got things under control, don’t you? The Avengers are still there, Iron Man or not.”

 

“Do you even realise how worried we are?”

 

“Huh, no, I hadn’t actually considered that,” he paused, thinking. “I’m okay, you know. I just needed to get away for a while.”

 

“How long is a while?,” Steve asked.

 

“Maybe a few more months. Maybe a few more years.” Happy raised an eyebrow at that. “I’ll see.”

 

“Jesus, Tony, a bit of a warning would have been nice.”

 

“I had to take care of some things, okay?”

 

“Tony I-,” Steve sighed on the other end. “You know you can talk to me, right? We haven’t ever since Pepper left and I can imagine that’s not easy. Then with Peter-”

 

“Hey you’re not supposed to know his name,” Tony protested.

 

“Please, Tony.” He could imagine Steve’s mom-look thousands of miles away. “He’s a good man, a bit too grown up, but after everything he’s been through… I just know he means a lot to you.”

 

Steve had absolutely no idea how much indeed.

 

“He’s alright, isn’t he?,” Tony asked quietly.

 

“Yeah he is. He’s trying not to show it but I think he misses you, god knows why.” Tony tried to hide his smile at Steve’s words and failed. “I’ve held him back a little, focus on more training rather than real life missions for the time being. I hate to say it but you were right.”

 

“Hold up,” he stood from his comfortable seat, gesturing around. “Steve Rogers just said I was right, Happy, hey, mark that red in the calendar!”

 

To his credit, Happy actually took out his phone to make a note in their calendar and Tony had to laugh. Which felt good. Somehow it had been a while.

 

“Shut up, Tony,” came Steve’s voice from the phone.

 

“I won’t, but thank you for that.” He looked out on the beach and felt a little more at peace after these news. “Thanks for calling, Steve.”

 

“Stop ignoring them, alright?”

 

“Yeah I will. Totally ignore them. Good talk.”

 

“Tony-”

 

He had already hung up and imagined Steve’s expression so far away, rolling his eyes at Tony’s usual antics. Now he was thinking about Peter again. And what he must be thinking of the news that were surely travelling all over the world that he was partying and not taking care of his business. He knew that Pepper was doing an amazing job, and they were slowly starting to talk more again. Something had to change.

 

Slowly the nature of his trips became different. Sure, he didn’t just change them overnight but he started to look for better things to do than just drink and party. Regularly he talked to his friends and Pepper now, looking for opportunities to use his name for something better. Research facilities all over the world could get attention through his visits, at some of which he stayed for a while to help out or just because he thought a particular project was interesting.

 

Every now and then he got back to the States, too, sometimes even New York, but he made sure never to stay for too long. It wasn’t hard, finding things to do, or people to help. Plenty of kids idolised him and were thrilled when he randomly showed up to help out. He should have started doing this a long time ago.

 

Apparently it had taken a better man than him to get him to do it.

 

Peter’s voice mails became something rare, but something he treasured immensely. This way they were… still somehow connected. Even if he missed him like his heart was gone without him by his side. Even if he still dreamed of his smile greeting him when he woke up. Alone, in one of his hotel rooms, he would listen to them all over and over again.

 

“ _Saw you on TV today with those German researchers. You looked like you had fun. I’m glad that you do, I was worried with all the partying and yes- It’s not like I can avoid these kinds of news, you’re everywhere, you know. So don’t flatter yourself that I’m stalking you.”_ Peter chuckled then, and the sound made Tony smile. _“Well I do worry, I look into you sometimes, just to make sure. Your postcard from Thailand was very sweet by the way.”_

 

“ _Uhhh, it’s… four in the morning.”_ Peter yawned into the phone and actually apologised. _“I am still working on my project. I can’t believe we have to finish it so close to graduation. I also can’t believe I’m graduating. I have to deliver a speech apparently because they chose me for valedictorian. I don’t really want to but uuhhh, I guess it looks good on my resume. God, I wish we could do this together. I miss tinkering with you.”_

 

“ _I got into MIT!,”_ Peter’s voice almost clipped the microphone, and he sounded like he was jumping around. _“I just got the letter, I did it! I don’t know if you talked to them or anything, I hope you didn’t, I got a scholarship too! Your scholarship, actually. I still can’t believe it! May is going to take Ned, MJ and me out for celebration dinner now, so I can’t talk long I just… Thank you for everything. I miss you.”_

 

Then there was one that started with rustling, shifting of fabric, and Tony imagined Peter in bed. _“Hmm, it’s late,”_ he said quietly. _“I’ve been thinking of you again. I’m… mostly concentrating on school these days. Well, university, now. But… This guy came to me and he… Was sweet I guess but he wanted basically casual sex. I’m not interested in that and I- I had to think of you because sometimes I get so… I can’t believe I’m saying this hehe. I get so uhm, horny. And then I think of you and I-”_ There was more rustling as Tony imagined Peter’s hand to slide into his boxers. Tony’s, at this point, did the same. _“I think of you holding me. Making love to me. Like you used to, so slow and gentle and deep and ah…”_

 

Peter kept talking about him, about them, how they made love and how he was touching himself. It was the closest thing they had gotten to phone sex during what could be called their relationship.

 

The messages only got naughty that one time, most others were very random and brought a smile to Tony’s face. Peter was working so hard on his studies and still found time to train or even work with the Avengers sometimes. He got regular updates on his process from Steve as well, and kept in contact with the others. Sam, surprisingly, was fond of his new direction, and Tony found himself taking him up on his offer to talk more often these days.

 

Time had passed, and Tony found himself getting people that were important to him together. In New York. He was ready to go back.

 

“I take it you’ve stopped running from whatever it is you were running from?,” Sam’s voice came through the speakers of his phone, as Tony was being tended to by a man whose store he had bought out for the day. He wanted to have peace and quiet when he looked for the finest Italian suits.

 

“Why would I ever run?,” he asked jokingly, Sam and he had discussed it in vague terms many times. While he trusted him he couldn’t admit he had slept with a teenager. “I just think it’s time New York gets me back, don’t you think? It’s gotta be boring.”

 

“I wouldn’t exactly call it that, but I think it’s a good idea. This… party you’re hosting, that a special welcome back?”

 

Muffled in the background Tony heard Steve and Bucky talk to each other. There was the sound of a door, and a rush of wind against the microphone. Tony pictured him standing in their garden and taking a deep breath in.

 

“In a way. Haven’t seen you all properly in a while, plus, it’s a certain someone’s 21st birthday soon.”

 

“Oh right! I can’t believe you remembered that,” Sam chuckled. “We did already get him a gift, but he’ll be thrilled about this.”

 

“You can’t tell him, it’s a surprise.”

 

“Even better.” Sam moved and there was the unmistakable sound of a beer bottle opening.

 

“You’re living the life, huh? Things going well with you three?”

 

“Excuse me, is that Tony Stark asking me how I’m doing? Who are you?”

 

“Would you rather I didn’t ask?” He turned briefly to look at another piece of fabric and waved it away. Still browsing through more, he pinned the phone between his shoulder and ear.

 

“I am merely surprised,” Sam replied, then sighed. “It’s been good, surprisingly. Bucky’s always going to have some issues but we’re helping him through it.”

 

“And the whole poly thing?”

 

“Well, we bought a bigger bed.”

 

Tony had to laugh and almost dropped his phone but caught it in time.

 

“Alright I’ll take that as a ‘good’ and ‘stay out of our business’, I get it. You’ll be getting the details for the party soon, make sure no one says a word.”

 

“Roger that.”

 

There was a lot to prepare but if there was anything Tony was good at, it was throwing parties. He made sure that it wasn’t just their friends that were invited, but Peter’s friends as well, who would have a great time meeting the Avengers, or so he hoped. He ordered the biggest cake that he could find, each layer a different flavour because he knew that Peter had a secret sweet tooth. He also briefly considered decking out the tower in Spider-decorations, but ultimately decided against it. Not everyone knew his secret, and this was a party for Peter, not Spider-Man.

 

The closer the date got, the more nervous he was. He certainly didn’t plan on making a huge love confession in front of everyone, though the dramatic streak inside him really wanted to do so. Peter was still a lot younger than him, and they would need to talk about how they wanted to approach this. If Peter still wanted to. If.

 

Still, he hadn’t seen him in a few years now. Just listened to his voice, both of them talking at but not with each other. It was going to be different. But how different? Was there even still a spot in his life for Tony? Peter was studying hard after all…

 

Tony just focused on this one night now, and as it was finally coming, dressed in that gorgeous three piece suit he had gotten in Italy. Slowly every one of his and Peter’s friends arrived, dressed up and excited for the surprise. To their credit, Ned and MJ had only a minor freak out when they met him.

 

“I can’t believe you’re throwing him a surprise party,” Ned said. “With the Avengers and everyone! I had no idea you were actually friends.”

 

“Well he’s a good kid,” Tony said. “He’s kept it all on the down low the er… Stark internship.”

 

Tony glanced at MJ who looked… Well, he couldn’t really tell. She either knew everything or was completely oblivious. Even when she smiled at him he was none the wiser, so he just pushed that particular thought aside and hoped everything worked out.

 

“Sir, Mr. Parker has entered the tower,” Jarvis informed him, and after his command the lights went out and they all got into their positions, hiding from the main entrance.

 

Together they waited for the agonisingly slow elevator to reach the top floor, and with the light above the door slowly moving from one place to the next, Tony’s heart started beating faster in his chest. Right now he wasn’t sure anymore if he could stop himself from hugging or kissing him. But finally the doors opened and the shadowy form of Peter stepped outside.

 

“Uh… Steve?,” he asked into the room. “Jarvis, where’s-”

 

When he stood, the lights went on, and everyone yelled their phrase. Peter flinched at first, then broke out into a grin as he scanned the room to take in who was all here, then his gaze fell on Tony. And didn’t move away. As everyone came to congratulate him, they looked at each other, and Tony knew. Peter had waited for him.

 

Slowly he got closer and a silence seemed to fall over the room, interrupted by the soft music that started playing. Tony held out his hand and Peter took it, then suddenly closed the distance between them and hugged him. Reluctantly, he returned the hug, unable to believe this was really happening.

 

“Happy Birthday,” he said, only briefly remembering his own. When this had all started. Peter looked up at him and there were tears in his eyes. He hadn’t changed at all.

 

“You’re back!,” he said, and hugged him again.

 

“Yeah, I am. Come on, I got a suit for you, can’t be the only one not looking fancy on your 21st.” He turned to the others. “While you all debate what’s going to be his first… legal drink, I’ll get him dressed.”

 

“Oh, how about shots!,” he heard MJ say in the distance, as he led Peter back to the elevator.

 

“I don’t know if-,” the moment the elevator doors closed, Peter turned to him, pulled him down by his tie and kissed him.

 

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, there had been words. A discussion. About their relationship. Or something to that effect. Suddenly they were all gone and he found his arms around Peter, lifting him up so they could kiss properly. At the same time Peter had jumped a little, wrapped his legs around him and now they were just leaning against the wall of the elevator and full on making out.

 

Only when they were both wanting for breath did they pull away. Peter was smiling widely, even if there was a tear rolling down his cheek. Tony brushed it away.

 

“That’s out of happiness, right?,” he asked.

 

“Yes, of course!,” Peter replied, giving him another quick kiss. “I didn’t know you’d be here god, I wanted to kiss you right there!”

 

“Me too,” he admitted. “I wasn’t sure if that’s what you still wanted, we haven’t really… talked.”

 

“You listened to my messages, right?”

 

“Every single one.” Tony grinned. “You realise you basically sent me porn that one time. Just… the audio book version of it.”

 

Peter blushed and hid his face in his shoulder, but he was chuckling a little.

 

“Oh god, I know. I was just… really horny and I missed you so much.”

 

“Later,” Tony said, and Peter looked at him again. “We’ll do that properly, later. Okay?”

 

Peter nodded and kissed him again, didn’t let go of him until they were in Tony’s bedroom. Both of them looked at the bed longingly, but if they did that now, he knew they wouldn’t leave this place again. It would all get out soon enough, but it didn’t have to be right now, not when they hadn’t talked about it yet.

 

But lying on the bed was the suit he had picked out for Peter, black, similar to his own, he knew the vest would accent Peter’s waist beautifully. He watched him put it on, helped him with the tie when he was struggling with it, and took him in when it was all done.

 

“You look gorgeous,” he said, though Peter looked a little bit awkward.

 

“I’ve never had a suit like this,” Peter said, walking towards the mirror in one corner of the room. “It’s so fancy.”

 

“Try not to look like you’re extremely uncomfortable,” Tony strolled slowly behind him, and wrapped his arms around him. He was tall enough that his chin could rest on Peter’s head. “I missed you.”

 

In the mirror, Peter looked up at him.

 

“I missed you too.” He turned in his embrace and returned the hug, staying there without any inclination of moving away. “Do we really have to go to the others again?”

 

“It’s a party, so yes. You’re gonna have to at least try the huge cake I got for you.”

 

“Cake?” If Peter were a cat his ears would perk up at the word. He pulled back to look at him, being completely adorable “You didn’t say there was cake, let’s go!”

 

Tony grinned as he wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and led him back to the elevator, but let go before the doors opened again. Finally Peter noticed the cake and got very excited to be the one cutting it, revealing all the different layers. He didn’t seem to have much interest in the champagne MJ tried to keep giving him, mumbling something about wanting to see drunk Peter. Tony, on the other hand, really never wanted to see that again.

 

He watched Peter being happy, a sight he had longed for. Now he had it, and Peter still wanted him. At least he thought so, at least for now. They would have a chance to talk soon enough, the party didn’t go on forever, although it was about four am when the last guests finally went to bed for the night. He should have known Clint didn’t need any sleep, they had to practically force him to go. Because it was too late, of course it was safer to let Peter stay in the tower. Yes, safer.

 

They bumped into a few walls as they made out on the way to Tony’s bedroom. He had planned to make this special, to go slow and gentle but Peter had other ideas.

 

“I waited too long for slow and gentle,” he mumbled against Tony’s lips, pulling back for a second to toss the very expensive suit jacket onto the floor by the bed. “I haven’t had sex in so long and I want you to fuck me.”

 

“Jesus, Peter, since when do you talk like that?,” Tony asked with a grin, following Peter’s lead and getting rid of his clothes quickly.

 

“Since I haven’t had a dick in my ass for years,” Peter replied, blushing at his own words.

 

“Fucking hell.” Tony kissed him again, grabbed his thighs and pulled them towards him so Peter fell back onto the bed, bouncing slightly. “I’ll give you that, as much as you want.”

 

“Oh god, Tony,” Peter moaned when he fingered him, in his impatience Tony had made sure lube was nearby. “Yes, god, don’t take too long I want you right now.”

 

“I know, kid,” he said, grinning before he kissed him again. “But I’m not gonna hurt you, just wait a little bit.”

 

Peter was squirming and moaning under his touch, and Tony still took his time to stretch him open, to kiss him everywhere he could reach. But Peter had been right, this was no time for slow and gentle, he had been craving him for far too long. When he finally pushed into him neither could hold back their moans, and they grinned at each other, amused by how similar they sounded. The first time, it was light, happy, and fast. Tony looked at him and kissed him plenty, trying to catch up on the years they had lost. The next time Peter crawled on all fours, dared Tony to grab his hair and pull. He had been careful at first, but the obscene moans coming from Peter encouraged him to be rougher. With one hand he held on to Peter’s hips and thrust into him as hard as he could.

 

He set his goal at making him come three times that night. They ended up with five.

 

They used to make love so… vanilla. But either Peter had been reading up on these things or the kid had an amazing imagination. He dared Tony to fuck him against the wall, which he did. He dared him to press Peter against the large glass window front, which Tony happily did. Some perverted part of him even wanted someone to walk in on them, and see how gorgeous they were as a couple. Finally, the two ended up on the floor right in front of Tony’s bed, Peter barely coherent at this point. A final time Tony came in him, slouching over Peter’s back and trying not to crush him.

 

Both of them were breathing heavily and Tony rolled on his side, grinning at Peter who was trying to catch his breath. He looked dazed for a moment longer but then turned and grinned at him.

 

“You’re gonna have a lot of come to clean up,” Peter said, and Tony burst out into laughter.

 

“You really think _I_ clean up my own come? Please. I got people for that.”

 

Peter chuckled again but snuggled a bit closer, and the two of them lay there for a while before they made their way to the shower to clean up. The sun was almost starting to rise, but they snuggled in bed anyway, the birthday boy deserved to sleep in for a while. Tony usually didn’t need much sleep, so he watched Peter for a while, let him sleep until he woke up naturally. Whenever he wasn’t watching him, he made a few more notes, or read a bit, but every so often his gaze wandered down again. He could really get used to this, he had to admit. Maybe this time, maybe this time it could work.

 

“Morning Tony,” Peter mumbled by his side, then let out a very content sigh.

 

“Morning Peter,” he replied, leaning down to kiss his forehead, and when Peter tilted his head up, his lips as well.

 

“I like waking up in your arms,” he said quietly, closed his eyes again. “Do you have to go to work today?”

 

“Nope, I uhm… rescheduled everything.”

 

“You knew I was going to be here?”

 

“More like hoping,” he replied. His free hand came to play with Peter’s hair, and he put away the tablet he had been reading on. “I always said that I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t wait for me.”

 

“And I always said that I would,” Peter said. “So…”

 

“So…,” Tony echoed, and both had to grin. “This is the part where we talk about this, hm? Thoughts?”

 

“I… would like it if we didn’t have to hide, I mean, there’s no reason to. Now. Is there?”

 

“There’s still an age gap, you know. That will never change,” Tony said, and Peter sat up to look down at him.

 

“So you’re saying we need to hide? Again?”

 

“I’m just saying that there might be some… negative reactions. The Internet isn’t a nice place.” Tony reached out to take Peter’s hand and squeezed it. “I just want you to be sure. And prepared. I suggest ignoring it.”

 

“I don’t care about what anyone says,” Peter gave him a gentle smile, and leaned down to kiss him. “I know all that, I’m not as naive as you think I am. I’m sure. If you’re sure too, I just… It doesn’t have to be a big announcement, but I want to be with you, always. And not just here.”

 

Tony’s hand came to cup his cheek for a moment, caressed it and brushed through his hair. Peter’s skin was so soft, and he felt like worshipping him all over again. He would, soon.

 

“Then let’s do it,” he said, and a big smile appeared on Peter’s face.

 

“I love you so much, Tony.”

 

“I love you too, kid.”

 

It was still nerve wrecking, the first time. Everyone’s eyes were on them when Peter sat down next to Tony that evening, a few of the Avengers hanging out to watch some TV. Peter looked nervous but Tony simply wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. In silence, they watched the cartoon Clint had put on. Tony didn’t really see it, his heart was racing in his chest. It took some time before anyone spoke up, but Clint finally raised an eyebrow at them.

 

“Is that… a thing now?,” he asked.

 

Peter looked just as nervous as him, but he took his hand and squeezed it.

 

“Yep,” Tony said.

 

Now Natasha looked up too from whatever she had been doing on her tablet. She gave them both a look that Tony couldn’t identify. Not that Tony had ever been able to read her.

 

“Since when?,” she asked.

 

“It’s pretty new,” Peter said before he could reply. Tony glanced at him briefly and Peter gave him a smile. The kid was smart, he had always known that, although he would feel a bit better if he didn’t have to lie to his friends. “It just kind of happened.”

 

“Huh,” was all Clint said before he turned back to the TV.

 

Natasha still looked at them, where they were holding hands, but she didn’t say anything. Tony figured this wasn’t the weirdest relationship he’d had. He had certainly been with younger women than Peter right now, no one had said anything then. And he hadn’t treated them very well… He liked to think that he had changed in the past years. With Peter at least, he had tried to do the right thing. Was still trying to. While making them both happy.

 

Little by little that’s how they revealed themselves to the rest of their friends, and eventually everyone else. As suspected there was a lot of drama around how young Peter was, some even tried to follow him. But Tony knew how to protect himself and Peter from these vultures. And eventually, as all gossip stories went, they disappeared into yesterday’s news. Eventually, no one cared anymore. Tony had been looking forward to that. He had plans for them. Disgustingly romantic plans.

 

Two months into their now public relationship they had found a rhythm. Tony often drove to MIT to take him out there, make sure Peter had plenty of time for his studies. That however often meant sleeping in a bed alone, long voice messages, sending videos, talking late at night with their faces only illuminated by their phone’s lights. It was worth it, though. It became normal, and every time he saw Peter in person his heart felt so much lighter.

 

Driving to MIT always brought back memories, some not so pleasant, but now that slowly changed. Now it meant seeing Peter, waiting for him with a caramel frappucino, extra sweet because Peter apparently could not get enough sugar into his body. Leaning against a pole near where he knew Peter would come out of the building, he waited, getting a few looks here and there, his name mumbled in excited whispers.

 

Peter looked tired, carrying far too many books than a human should be able to hold, but his eye lit up when he saw Tony and almost dropped everything in the process of running to him. Tony leaned over the stack to kiss him, then helped him carry some. Peter seemed to be equally excited about the drink.

 

“I didn’t know you’d be coming this weekend!,” Peter said, already inhaling half the drink. How did he not freeze his brain?

 

“That’s essentially what the kids call a surprise these days,” he teased, and Peter rolled his eyes. “Got some time for a night out?”

 

“Yeah! I have to do a bunch of reading this weekend but I can do tonight.”

 

“Good, then put on your comfiest clothes.”

 

Peter looked at him a bit confused, but at his apartment that Tony was renting for him, they both changed into simple sweatpants and shirts. Holding his hand, Tony led him to the roof, where the sun was going to set in a little while already. He had been here earlier, preparing everything, and the effort had been worth to see the surprise and delight on Peter’s face alone.

 

“I can’t believe you’re such a sap,” Peter blurted out, rushing forward to inspect everything.

 

Tony had essentially built a little fort out of blankets and pillows, one side of it open so they could watch the sunset. Set before that was a small table with all the junk food Tony had been able to find, all of it illuminated with candles and lights. He knew how tough MIT could be, long days with even longer nights, and all he wanted for Peter was to have a relaxing night he knew he could use to clear his head. A fancy dinner wasn’t what Peter needed.

 

He stuffed his face while in Tony’s arms, and they warmed each other when the sun made way to stars. Peter was far too tired to make love that night, but Tony hardly cared. This right here was all he needed, knowing that they were both happy this way. As Peter told him everything about today’s lectures, he eventually trailed off, not even finishing his own sentence before he dozed off. Tony had to smile.

 

He didn’t know what the future held for them, but he was looking forward to find out.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [tumblr](http://valkyrieshepard.tumblr.com)


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